A Greater Plan Than Mine....

"Trust in the Lord with all thine heart and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge Him and He shall direct thy path." - Proverbs 3:5-6

      This has always been one of my favorite scriptures. Growing up I had this scripture above my bed and every night my mom would have me say this scripture before going to bed. Though I had the words of the scripture memorized at a very young age it wasn't until I was older that the meaning of the words really sunk into my soul. 

 

        Those of you who know me really well know that I am a planner and kind of  a control freak. I like to have everything mapped out and in order. (If you are questioning this feel free to take a look at my freakishly detailed lesson plan book for school). I like to know what, when, and how things are going to happen. That way I can prepare myself accordingly. I can't stand it when there is no schedule, no order to life and even worse is when I have no control over what happens. 

         Relying on others has never been of of my strong points. Sure there were the class projects in school where we are all forced to rely on others for our grades (which I  always hated), or the church callings which had me delegate responsibilities. But when it comes to the important aspects of my life I like to be the one calling the shots. Once I knew what I wanted to do I would always set my sights on it, map out a plan of how and when I exactly I would achieve that particular goal. 

         But there are moments in my life when Heavenly Father likes to remind me that I don't have to do it all myself. In fact I can't do it all. What has always been one of the most difficult things for me to accept is that no matter how much I try to plan out each and every detail of how things should happen in my life, sometimes 

          His plan is better than anything that I could have ever imagined. It is at times like these that the scripture that I recited each night without fail comes back to me at the most random of moments. There are things in this life that we do not understand why they happen (or don't happen) the way that we want. If we can just let go and put our trust in our Father in Heaven then we will be so much happier in the long run. And even though we cannot see it with our limited mortal perceptive, He truly will direct us onto the path that will bring us the most joy to come. 

Graduation

On April 26th 2013 (yes I am aware of how far behind I am) Brandon and I celebrated one of our greatest accomplishments so far.Our graduation from Brigham Young University had arrived! After four years of long nights, tests and papers we finally made it. I was such a wonderful experience and I was so happy that I was able to share the day with my best friend! Even though Brandon officially graduated in December 2012 and I didn't officially graduate until June we were both able to walk together which was an amazing experience. Both my parents and Brandon's parents came to Provo to celebrate the occasion with us. It was so wonderful to have them there with us on this wonderful day.
  Our original plan was to attend two separate ceremonies, one for Brandon's college and one for mine. However, as it turned out both ceremonies were scheduled for the exact same time, so Brandon ended up walking with the School of Education.
  The day was so surreal. I had been looking forward to this day for as long as I can remember. Having my husband next to me and my family in the audience was everything I had hoped it would be.

   

This is what he does when I ask him to smile. Silly boy

The Graduates 

I did it! Yay! 

Time Flies When You're Having Fun

             So I have decided that there must be something wrong  with my calendar. There were some  days that I thought that this time would never come but now that it is here all that I want to do is turn back time and have this year all over again, late nights long hours and all. Canyon has been such as wonderful experience where I have been able to not only grow as a teacher but as a person as well. The people that i have come to know during this year have been a lasting impact on me. My team has been so much more than I could have ever asked for. They also put up with my silly questions, my need for help and direction. I knew that despite the fact that they all had crazy schedules, I could go to any of these amazing ladies and ask for help on a lesson, a management issue or to just bounce ideas off of. I have learned so much from them over the past year.

           Then there is my dear sweet kids, because they are so much more than just my students that I have the honor of instructing six hours a day.  There is no possible way that I only have one week left with my sweet second graders! I have so much left to teach them, so much more I want them to know and understand not just with school but in life as well. I have seen these student blossom throughout the year. Students who I could hardly get to speak at the beginning of the year I now have a hard time getting quiet sometimes. :) I have celebrated at their successes and accomplishments as if they were my own. Their heartbreaks were my heartbreaks.  The thought of letting them go, of trusting someone else with my “kids” is difficult, but the knowledge that I will probably never see any of them again is downright heartbreaking. Sometimes I catch myself watching them and wonder what type of person each of them will become. I hope that in some small way I have made an impact in their lives because I know without any doubt that each of them has made a lasting impact on mine. As I look back at where I was last year when I was deciding which district that I would apply to to have an internship in I had a very strong feeling that for some reason it needed to be Nebo and now I know why. I needed to be here, at this school with these students because of the wonderful influence that THEY have had on ME. They have reminded me how to love in an unconditional way that somehow adults seem to loose throughout the years. They have tested my patience beyond what I thought I could handle some days (and heavens knows that some of them test it more than others), they have taught me compassion and the importance of forgiveness and to laugh at myself and never take anything too seriously. So for all of the hours spent staying late,  writing lesson plans,  getting materials ready I still feel as though they have given me more than I could have ever dreamed. Three more years with these group of kids wouldn’t be enough, never mind a measly  week. I am going to be a complete basket case when the end comes because I can’t even right this journal entry without crying at the mere thought of leaving them.